I love Devon’s mother. I really do.
I’ve had so many people tell me how “it’s going to change when you get married”, “it’s going to change when you live with him”. Well….I already live with him and it hasn’t changed yet. Granted I don’t know what she’ll be like when we get married, but his mother is so genuinely laid back anyway, I don’t think she’d become this overbearing person that everyone keeps insisting she will be.
Lisa and I have known each other a long time now; even way before he and I were dating. I met his mom a couple times when we were just friends when we go hang out or whatever but obviously I didn’t spend as much time with her as I do since we’re a couple.
But Lisa isn’t overbearing now. She makes comments about how Devon needs “to get it together and give this girl a ring before she changes her mind” but she’s really very much “you two do you and as long as your happy, that’s fine with me”. They’ve never been a family to really get into each other’s personal lives.
Devon’s parents divorced when he was in high school. It was pretty amicable, for the most part, but Devon and his brother have just stayed closer with their Mom since the divorce for one reason or another. The boys were raised in a way that two people’s private relationship is their business and no one else’s. So while they knew why their parents were divorcing, neither of the boys really went too far into their decision, because at the end of the day, it was their parents decision.
Lisa is very much the same with Devon and his brother; their personal/romantic relationships are Devon or his brother’s business and not hers. As long as her son(s) are happy, she’s happy, for the most part. She doesn’t get into details or ask a lot of personal questions; it’s nice.
Lisa called earlier today and I answered. I don’t claim to answer every time she calls because I don’t like talking on the phone; but more often than not, I’ll say hi to her when she calls the house. We say hi and and all of that and the first thing she says is, “Stephanie, I’m so proud of you, congratulations on your new position, I know you work hard with your girls and you deserve it. You and Devon are both doing so well in your careers, I’m so proud of both of you.”
Like I mentioned before I’m now “associate” head of the counseling depaartment at my school as well as testing coordinator, SSD coordinator, and I’m helping facilitate the Summer Bridge Program for the incoming freshman. Well, Devon also applied for tenure earlier this year, since this will be the end of his third year; and he just found out about a week or so ago that he got it!!! So he will be officially tenured at the beginning of next year.
If you don’t know what teacher tenure is, it basically means Devon can’t be fired easily….basically, and that he will have less formal observations by school adminsitration. They can’t fire him “just because” anymore. And he had to prove his competence as a teacher. He had to have high performance ratings, proof that he’s working toward achievment goals in his classroom, etc.
So it’s kind of a big deal.
And to us we’re just like, “we’re just doing our job here”.
But I suppose I would rather have her proud of me than being all, “OMG, why is my son with her?”
The best part is, I can joke with her. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “you want your son back, I’ll send him home to you in about two seconds.” And she’s all; “no, you won’t do that….no….because I’ll change the locks before he gets here; he doesn’t live here anymore.”
I think I earned a different level of respect when I told her that I got him to have a physical with my doctor. She’s a registered nurse and hasn’t been able to get him to a doctor in years. He agreed to go for me and she was floored. Next will be the dentist…..he just doesn’t know it yet.
So far, I’m pretty lucky in regards to the guys family. Most of his family has been pretty welcoming and respectful of me, us, and our relationship. Hopefully the eventual wedding doesn’t change that, though I honestly don’t thnk it will.