This is totally Valentine’s Day appropriate, right?
I got a couple of questions/comments when I made mention that there may be children happening in the next couple of years. It’s not really a recent decision, but it’s a decision.
If you know Devon and I well, we’ve never been in a huge hurry to have kids. Some have mistaken that as we don’t want to have kids at all, which couldn’t be further from the truth. We just wanted to enjoy our time together before we insert overly dramatic, cheerio-demanding little bundles of energy into our lives.
Plus, we have this weird idea that we ‘d like to get married before having kids. I know that’s not a requirement these days and all but we’re a little weird and old-fashioned that way.
But, once we are married, we have agreed (not that it was a debate) to stop “actively preventing” me from getting pregnant.
It’s a little complicated, however.
As I’ve also shared before, I have Endometriosis. My mother, grandmother, and aunt have also all had it (thanks, ladies). It honestly never stopped them from conceiving, but it did make it hard for them to actually hold the pregnancy and when it did hold, their pregnancies were either high-risk or they had complications throughout it.
I’ve had menstrual issues my whole life. Devon even remembers when he would see me just curled up in a ball literally unable to move because the cramps each month hurt so much. I essentially stopped living once a month. It was horrible.
The birth control pill helped SOOOOO much (I know it’s controversial topic for a lot of people but it’s helped me a lot and I’m extremely grateful). So much, that it’s going to be hard for me to go off of it.
Given that the pill is not 100% effective (everyone and their mother knows that) I’m not stopping the pill as soon as we get married like we’ll be stopping all other forms of contraception. I know I’ll have to keep a closer eye on myself, but I also have a thing against suffering horribly for a really long time. My doctor has also suggested a different kind of pill that’s less hormones than what I take for when we start “trying” that I’d be willing to take, too.
If it winds up being like a….long time and we haven’t conceived yet then I’ll stop the pill and see what happens. And I say this because my family is very well known for being very fertile. I know I said we have issues holding the pregnancy, but there’s never been an issue with actually getting pregnant. I think between my mother, grandmother and aunt there were easily over 35 pregnancies between them, probably even more than that. Like I said, we’re a fertile people.
I have a couple of friends that are determined that we are going to wind up having a “honeymoon” baby, like we’re just going to come back from our honeymoon and be like “guess who’s pregnant?!?!?!”
And, if that happens, so be it. We wouldn’t be mad about that. We know that we at least want two children and we’d like for them to be a few (like 2-3) years apart. Devon wants three kids….we’ll see about that; I’m fine with two. That’s really our only kid disagreement, is how many we want. He has a thing for the number 3, so to him 3 is the perfect number. For me; they’re coming out of me. So we’ll see how I feel about doing that a third time. Plus, twins run HARD in my family and if you go by all the old wives tales, the likelihood of me having twins is pretty high. Devon thinks he’s funny, though when he says “that’s fine we’ll have one and then we’ll get you pregnant with twins….see? three kids.” Like he can a wave a wand and make that happen.
But if it does……I will kick him. I’d prefer two kids; that just sets better in my head for some reason. If a third happened, it’s fine, it’s just not being actively planned for in my head. And he knows I mean two kids, not necessarily two pregnancies. If twins happens the first time, that’s two kids, which works for me.
And like I said at the beginning, this isn’t really a new decision. We’ve always wanted to wait until we were married to have kids. But now with an actual wedding date set down, I guess the “plans” are just a bit more concrete than they were before. And honestly, I think we’re ready (even if a boo-boo happened now). We’ve had a lot of time to ourselves already and we’re committed to our relationship and our future family (no matter how many members there eventually are) so it’s not like an “OMG WE’RE GONNA HAVE KIDS” freak out. It’s just sort of natural progression that we’re going with here.
Plus, I think Devon’s going to be a pretty awesome Dad, so I’m kind of excited to see him with our kids. I’m going to have to make sure he doesn’t terrify them with horror movies at the age of three like his dad did to him….but….other than that, I think we’re going to be, at least, okay parents. We’re as ready as we’re going to be.