Progress, but not The Weighing Game

So, you guys.

I’m super proud of myself.  I’m fitting into my pants a bit better again!  I’d say I probably have about an inch (maybe a little less) off my waist since I re-committed to eating better.  YAY!   I’d say that I stayed on the good eating wagon, maybe…..85% of the time?  Which to some people doesn’t sound great, but it’s giving me the results I want, so I’m fine with it.

I’m not someone who lives by a scale or, more importantly, by the number on the scale.  I used to do that.  Back in late 2012 and early 2013, I lost about 40 pounds. Now, I was a bit overweight, not horribly but I knew I had too much poundage on me, so losing a little was good, especially health-wise.  I was in a really bad car accident in the summer of 2012 and began losing weight after (10 pounds in the two weeks immediately after because I barely ate) due to PTSD, stress, grief, etc.  Once I saw myself losing weight, I used that as something to actually look forward to and do for myself, so I started actively trying to lose weight and get myself to a certain number on the scale.  Once I reached that number if I deviated, I felt horrible.  It was a problem.

There’s a picture of Devon and I from our first date (in July 2013) and he actually said when we saw it “you look too thin, look how much your collarbone is protruding from your chest”.  I didn’t fully realize that until that picture.  I realized I was the smallest I’d ever been in my adult life and that it was a great accomplishment to go from a size 14 pant to a size 8; but I didn’t realize that it might not be wearing so well on me to lose any more weight.  So I began to concentrate more on just staying in my clothing size.  I didn’t focus on the number on the scale anymore; I just kept myself comfortable in the size clothing I was in.

And I’ve maintained my clothing size, for the most part.  I knew once Devon and I moved in together I’d likely gain a little.  It’s bound to happen.  We used to go out all the time because it was the easiest way to spend time together, but now that we don’t have to do that anymore, I  got a bit lazy, as I suspected I would.  I’m okay with being a little lazier, I’m not trying to obsess like I did a couple years ago.  But I just want to make sure I’m still as comfy in my favorite jeans as I always am.

I’m happy to see some progress.  I haven’t weighed myself and, in fact, I don’t even own a scale anymore.  I don’t see a need to.  I don’t intend to weigh myself.  I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple weeks and I know I’ll be weighed but I don’t plan on looking at it.  As long as I feel comfortable, I’m happy.  I’m not at fully comfortable yet, but I do feel better and that’s what really matters to me.

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