I’m not going to sit here and say that 2019 was the easiest year on record; because lord knows…
It was one of the most trying, stressful, and uncertain years I’ve ever had. This year was full of more shit then should have ever been needed and, really, just so much unnecessary drama that really didn’t need to happen.
But, I digress.
At the end of the day, I feel like I’m more grateful for the good things than I might have been otherwise. Through all of the shit, a lot of good things wound up happening. And I am so grateful for those things.
So, while we’re all giving thanks today I wanted to share what I’m grateful for this year.
My new house
Getting our house and moving was a painful process that took a good 6 months of stress and searching before we even moved….and we still have things in storage bins despite the fact that we moved in 3 months ago. No matter what it took to get us here; I love our house. So much. It is my favorite place to go everyday and the place I don’t want to leave. I know I’m being crazy about the things that go inside of it, but I love it no matter what.
I’ve always been grateful to have a home in general, but knowing we have this one that is big enough to grow with us as our family grows and that it will be the home we bring our children to and create our family in. This is definitely a better space for all of that than our apartment was.
Regaining my health
Admittedly this is one I’m still working on, but considering in the spring I had high blood pressure, wasn’t sleeping, eating horribly and had horrible stress-related acne breakouts… we’re not going to talk about the weight I gained, though….we know it’s a thing. I had never gone to my doctor before and have her tell me that I” made you come back sooner because you looked like death the last time I saw you” and it’s not something I want to hear again.
While it’s a work in progress, my blood pressure is normalizing and my insomnia has improved dramatically. My skin is also looking better than it has in almost a year and we’ve been given the full “go ahead” to try and get pregnant.
Having a job that isn’t trying to kill me
I’ve talked a bit more openly recently about some of what led me to resign my former school last year. The fact that it was taking a toll on my health was a big reason for it. At the end of the day I was so unhappy there and it felt like actual torture waking up in the morning and going to work. By February, when I resigned, I told Devon that I’d work at Pottery Barn before I went back there another year (nothing against PB employees…that’s just where I was).
I will admit my school is the last place I would have expected to be and in the last district I would have expected, but I genuinely enjoy going to work every morning. I enjoy sitting and talking with my co-workers and even my administrators. The biggest part is, though, I feel like my presence is beneficial and helpful, whereas I didn’t feel that in my old school. Being in education is hard enough but when you feel like you don’t have a purpose in your school, it’s even harder. Here I feel like I’m making a difference, even if it’s just to do a schedule change one day; it’s more than I did before. This place is curing my burnout that I felt last year and giving me my mojo back; for that alone, I love it.
Amazingly supportive friends and family
For two people who are hopeless introverts and who would be more than happy to spend the rest of our lives avoiding all people; we have some of the best friends and family on the planet. This year, especially, some of these people were leaned on a bit more heavily than others. Whether it was just to vent or scream at or just to help get my mind off the hell I was facing on Monday morning again, I’m eternally grateful for all of them.
We also know I’ve had a number of battles with my side of the family (particularly my mother) since before my wedding, which hasn’t changed, but me distancing myself from it has helped immensely. It’s also brought me closer to my mother-in-law and Devon’s extended family as a result. My mother-in-law is amazing and always there whenever we would need her. This is the woman that has already researched daycare at the hospital she works for (just “in case we would need her to use it for us) and even made us dinner with gluten-free options for me. Being in this family is something I’m eternally grateful for. They aren’t perfect, but there’s a lot of love there, which is something I’m not exactly used to.
My weird husband
My last but far from least when it comes to what I’m grateful for. This man…is my happy place; it’s just that simple. He has been the constant in my life for 15 years. Even when we were just friends, he was there whenever I needed him, at any time, for any reason and all the years and marriage has done is make that stronger. This year, I think I needed him more than ever. I was literally at the end of my rope in so many ways and he held me together through all of it.
In full disclosure, this was probably also our hardest year together. We aren’t people who fight or argue or lash out at each other, but there was so much stress, especially on my end that it happened more than it should. Between work and figuring out where we were going to live and moving and getting settled; we had a tendency to get frustrated with each other a bit more than we would have in other circumstances. But we worked through it and got through it and are stronger than ever because of it. Devon is my best friend, the love of my life, and I don’t think I would have gotten through this year without him.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!