I love Chopped and I got Devon hooked on Chopped.  Ted Allen is amazing.

Devon marvels at some of the knife skills on Chopped.  It mean it is kind of mesmerizing to see an onion finely sliced in about 10 seconds.

This weekend Devon and I were actually cooking something together (which is actually odd in our house) and he got so annoyed. “why do you chop so much faster and prettier than I do?”He was upset that I cut the onion so fast that I didn’t have time to cry from it and that I managed to dice an onion and a pepper before he finished his pepper and long before he ever touched the garlic.

I’m not a chop master.  But I did do Culinary Arts in High School.  One of the things we spent so much time on was knife cuts and how to do them with almost razor sharp precision.  Seriously, we spent like 2 months cutting up everything that could be cut up in every way possible.  It was like boot camp but with a chef’s knife.

So I’m…..decent.  I’ll never be the dude who can like make an acrobatic show out of cutting up a zucchini, but there’s some practice there.

Now Devon wants me to “share my knowledge” and show him how to chop “like a Chopped Champion”.

I’m like……we’re gonna need the ER on speed dial and we should probably get a small cooler for the finger you’re gonna chop off.

I mean, I did get him to use a cutting board, I guess natural progression says now I should show him to do stuff on it, but……eh.  I forsee bad things happening.

Like he tries to be super chefy and I wind up following behind in the ambulance with his finger on ice.

But I’ll show him a few things and then proceed to judge his skills in my best Geoffrey Zakarian voice.  I’m pretty sure that’s what all good girlfriends do.