Co-dependency.

For a living, I try to understand and analyze human behavior and cognitions. The way the brain works and how our actions are formed as a result has amazed me my whole life. I admit that there are many things I still don’t understand even after studying this for almost a decade. But one thing I can’t seem to comprehend is codependency in relationships. Conceptually, I get it; I guess I just don’t understand why it’s necessary for some people. This probably has a lot to do with my overly independent nature but it baffles me.

Case in point: Yesterday.

Devon and I go to The Hobbit marathon. One of Devon’s best friends of forever comes with us. Perfectly fine. Shows up late, but that’s normal. Shows up alone, at that. After the first movie ends he says to Devon and I: “yeah so R (his gf) called out of work because she was super sick yesterday, I mean sick enough to go to work”. Were like “alright, hope she feels better”. Then he follows with, “she’s going to make it by the third movie tonight”.

:blinks: Now I preface by saying; Devon and I live five minutes from our theater that was doing the screening. Said friend and his gf live almost an hour away. So she’s driving herself, while sick, an hour away to see a movie, a third of a full showing, and will have no idea what is going on because she admittedly hadn’t seen the first two. I’m just like…..why?! It’s not like they never see each other. They’re together daily. Now, I love Devon dearly, I love spending time with him but even when we didn’t see as much of each other we do now, no way would I have done that while sick.

And it’s not like this is just a random occurrence. It’s always like this. No matter what, she is always with him no matter where they are going. The boys had a “guy night” a month or so ago; she was there. It’s like they don’t exist outside of the other. I guess I just don’t understand that mentality.

Like I said I love Devon, he’s my favorite person in the entire world, I love spending time with him, but I don’t wanna see him every second of my life. He’ll drive me crazy. I appreciate that we can go out with our respective friends by ourselves. I know I’ve said before we’re sometimes inseparable and we are. But not every second. We’re still individuals at the end of the day. We don’t sulk because the other one isn’t around (like someone was doing until his gf showed up yesterday). We enjoy our time together and alone.

I’m not tying to say that there is anything wrong with being this way; to each their own. I just don’t understand it. And I think it’s one of those things I’ve tried to wrap my head around and it’s just not tying into a bow at the end. Any and all explanations are welcome.

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