I’ve been kind of debating whether or not to put this out here because while this blog is about real life and about my life, there are always some things that I want to keep protected. Sometimes it’s people, sometimes it’s situations (like that one thing I keep saying I need to tell you all about and still haven’t yet). But, then again, this blog is about my real life, so to not share it, I would feel like I’m being inauthentic and I wouldn’t be able to take myself seriously anymore, nor would I expect anyone else to do the same.
One of the issues I hear people have with bloggers is that they don’t see the “real” part. It’s easy to hide messes in your house if you vlog by throwing everything in a room and making your house look immaculate by showing the one room that is; it’s easy to do a recipe post because you can make it over and over again and use photo editing to make the picture look like something you want to eat just off the picture. Some Mommy bloggers don’t show when their kids are acting horrendous one day because that’s not what they want their readers to see.
I get it.
But life isn’t picture perfect nor is it easy sometimes.
And sometimes it just downright sucks sometimes.
And we don’t always like admitting when it sucks, but sometimes it just does.
Some might have noticed I didn’t do my normal Saturday Shorts post this week. I just wasn’t in a place to do it because of events that happened. I spent a little time debating whether or not to actually put this out on here, as I stated, and I decided that, it’s my life and I have to at least say it here.
On Friday afternoon, we found out that my mother has stage 2 breast cancer.
She’s going to need surgery, chemo, radiation, all of it.
Now, I know stage 2 is “better” than alternatives; it hasn’t spread yet and it can be handled before it does and odds are, she’ll have the treatment and be absolutely fine after.
But it still sucks.
I had that initial breakdown when I got the call as I was getting home on Friday afternoon. Devon came home a few minutes later and I pretty much broke down the second he walked in the house. I called him and told him as he was driving home, so luckily he kind of expected me to do that.
He’s been a huge comfort to me all weekend and I am extremely appreciative of him. He does that really good mix of being caring and comforting when I need him to be and still managing to keep life, at least feeling, normal the rest of the time, which is what I need.
My mother has an appointment on Friday afternoon with her whole team that’s going to be involved in this. Devon and I are going with her since it involves us, too. Devon was actually taking a personal day this coming Friday for his birthday. He wanted to have a day just all to himself (since I still would have had to work on Friday – but we both took off his birthday on Monday the 6th) where he could literally do whatever he wanted. But, now, he’s coming to the hospital with us. I know it’s my “fault” but I still felt like I had to apologize for “messing up his day to himself”. Of course, he did not accept said apology because I “have nothing to apologize for. You want me there, I’ll be there”.
Again, I appreciate him so much right now.
So, outside of the diagnosis, we don’t know a ton right now and won’t until after the appointment on Friday. But we’re already ready at our house to have my mother spend a couple nights here and there when she needs to. Sometimes it’s just going to be easier for her to be at my house than hers, so that’s how it’ll be during all of this.
Like I said, it’s real life here, but it’s still not all of my life. I still have work and this blog and a bunch of other things. Some things may take a bit more of a backseat than others, but I don’t want this blog to be one of those.
This blog has a tendency to be a good outlet for me, as well and I want it to keep being that. So, I’ll update from time to time about this but not all posts will be about this; that would be pretty depressing, anyway. Like I already have a post scheduled for Thursday that I did last week, so it’s before all of this that sounds normal and cheery and everything else. And, I kind of want to keep this blog that way. Everyone needs an escape and outlet when you have events like this and I’d like this blog to stay that way. It’s not me being inauthentic, it’s me trying to keep some semblance of normalcy in a crazy situation.
I appreciate all of you who also read my blog and leave some of the sweetest comments. Somewhat “normal” blogging will resume on Thursday.